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Topic: Have I Truly Forgiven? (Read 815 times)
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TheRealYahni
Newbie
Posts: 20
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I know, I know --- I've been gone from the forum for about two years, and I come back with two topics in less than 24 hours. Forgive me if it's overkill, but, I need y'all:
Last year, someone I was very close to betrayed me in a way that turned my world completely upside down. I was not in the dark about it; the Lord showed me in a dream a year prior that this woman would try to destroy me, but He also let me know that He would not allow her to; but that I would definitely feel the weight of it.
The betrayal brought with it a threat to my children, my marriage, and a very deep depression which led to health problems that I am currently working with my physicians to overcome. My husband and I fought through our difficulties and our marriage is now flourishing -- God has blessed us tremendously and our family is connecting now more than ever. Yet, after I prayed countless times for the Lord to help me release the person that hurt me -- after crying and identifying that I still have a love for her, a sense of resentment still lingers. I thought I had forgiven her, but the mere mention of her name makes my stomach churn and seeing her is even worse.
Help! I am a minister of the Gospel; I do not want to hold anyone hostage to hatred and unforgiveness -- I do not want to harbor any unhealthy thoughts or emotions when I am daily responsible for encouraging others to represent Christ. Whatever you can offer in the Spirit on my behalf would be much appreciated...peace to all of you...
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TheRealYahni
Newbie
Posts: 20
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Mmmmm...this is priceless -- thank you so much. Indeed, there's more that God needs to exact from me concerning this. The fact that I still love her, but struggle w/ letting her go, is a clear indicator that I have issues w/ my own sin.
I have spent countless 3am's being awakened by our Father, too. I have often referred to the situation as you did -- that I was betrayed w/ a "Judas Kiss" and that I'm "no better than Jesus," who suffered the cross, amongst other far worse things; but I don't think I actually embraced that fact.
I love you, Margie; thank you for your honesty. I will continue to allow the Lord to cleanse me in showing me myself and teaching me to love without conditions or exceptions; the same way He loves me. Peace...
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TheRealYahni
Newbie
Posts: 20
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Beautiful words; beautiful truth; thank you for the admonishment and the encouragement. I know that I am being processed, purged, and purified. I want only what will glorify my Father's name and I am blessed that He would take the time to gut me of anything that does not.
I love you all. Catherine Howell and Sista Divine Mind -- thank you for your wisdom...
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